I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
