I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
