your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
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