with your own penis?
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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