P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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