we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
