No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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