He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
