hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
pray to the hookup gods
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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