somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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