i jhust puked up my retainher.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
