i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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