Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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