Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
