im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
