Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
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