My nipple is on Facebook.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize
