That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
zippers are such a cool invention
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
