you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Randomize
