People in love make me want to vomit
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
