This girl is more easily done than said...
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
