just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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