Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I think your dad took our porno
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
