All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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