So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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