Jerry, you need to find god
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
