She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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