I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
