oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
