6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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