My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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