I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
