Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
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