i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
