You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
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