and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
