yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
