Duck Duck Cougar?
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
