Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
