I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Randomize