I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
