She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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