Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize