Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Randomize
