Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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