I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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