Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
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