Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
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Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
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I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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