are you so shy because you have an std?
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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