help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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