Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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