every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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