he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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