With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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