Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
