turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
