Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
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