Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Randomize
