Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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