I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
