Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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